I rang my mum's geriatric specialist after discussion about her treatment a few weeks ago. I told her that we weren't happy with the neuropsych we were seeing, and that we'd prefer to just see the geriatric specialist, because the neuro was not doing anything that she wasn't doing, and didn't show any particular interest. It was always a 5 minute appointment that acheived nothing. obviously, unless things change, it's unecessary to keep driving 4 hours to see this specialist. She (geriatric specialist) told me she'd cancel the neuropsych appointment. Mum has to travel 4 hour round trip to get to both the specialist and the nuero, and obviously they don't work on the same day, so it's always different days.
I had to work yesterday when the specialist appointment was. The first one I've missed since her diagnosis with this particular geriatric specialist. And they came back saying, that they have to come back and see the neuropsych on friday (another 4 hour trip). I'm confused, they seem to send the appointments in the mail, to mum, who has alzheimers, then when things get mixed up, they send a letter which dad never even sees. No wonder they muck up appointments. Why would you address these letters to an alzheimers patient rather than the carer? Or, does dad just palm them off to mum (with alzheimers)? Then when I call them to check up and clarify the appointments, they say "yes we made those appointments with your mum", "yes, but she has alzheimers, and is obviously easily confused, I just need to clarify".
My parents expected that they'd just stay at my place (as usual) except that I've already offered to babysit for my nephews, which would mean 8 people in my house, which is obviously not viable considering mums needs. I told them that they can't stay as I don't have enough beds, and had already committed to this babysitting. I told them that we can ring the neuropsych and cancel / re-schedule the appointment. No big issue, because she has no pressing need to see him at the moment anyway. That's obviously gone down like a tonne of bricks, and I think they are just going to drive down and back, after doing 4 trips to town this month.
I don't understand why they can't just take their own needs into consideration and stop just "doing what they are told" by medical professionals. Mum is at some appointment or another almost every week. It's past the point of ridiculous. Her medications are stable for parkinsons and alzheimers, there is nothing more they can do until things change. She has dentist, podiatrists, physio, neuropsych, geriatric specialist, asthma specialist, othopedic specialists, gp, pap smears, breast exams, on and on and on... it's past ridiculous. It's almost like they think they aren't allowed to decide on their own affairs, that they aren't allowed to just cancel or re-schedule. It's not viable to drive back and down 4 times in a month. And it's not necessary. I hope that if and when I have this many problems, that I have the foresight and strength to decide which things are necessary, and which ones are just an unnecessary time wasting exercise. I hope I have to strength to decide on when to refuse certain treatments or appointments or tests or specialists. My parents seem to think they don't have the right to refuse treatments.
It's usually fine, and I don't mind, but I've got plans, and I can't accommodate them always at a moments notice with free board with all the trimmings included.
Mum's response was "well, we could stay at our friend's house, they always said they have a spare bed, and they live just down the road from the specialist, but we hate asking all the time"... Mmmm, but you sure don't mind asking me everytime and just lobbing at short notice, never letting me know what time you'll be here, or if you are bringing your dog, letting your dog crap all over my lawn, leaving your mess and walking out the door when you're done. Obviously I've made it too easy for them to utilise me without notice, drinking all my coffee, using all my loo paper and then going home. Sorry, but this time, I have plans, this time you'll have to find your own way to the Dr. I hate to seems so rude, but just reschedule the damn appointment, it's not the end of the world.
